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Wittiest People Details

 mikescott

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View all Quotes submitted by mikescott

Hey Mr Michelin, I love your tires!30 Rock
This girl was ugly, I mean she could make a strap on go limp.Bill Maher
I have a fear of speed bumps, but i'm slowly getting over itTheChive
It's hard to explain things to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literallyTheChive
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That's a ghost finishing sex with you.Kelly Oxford
Let's make like a baby and head outMike Scott
I'm very well read (reed)Zach Galifanakis
Im a powerful man. I can walk into mcdonalds, order a soup and they’ll make itMonty Burns
Shut your chin slitJenna Mulroney
It's not gay if it feels goodVice
I'm on the seafood diet, I see food and I eat itUnknown
I went on a diet for 3 weeks and all I took off was my hatFederico Fellini
I'm on the Japanese Pornstar diet, I can only eat paper, but I can eat as much as I wantJenna Mulroney
Why don't you make like a woman driver and get lost30 Rock
You're so hot....Funny or Die