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 Captain Kyler

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View all Quotes submitted by Captain Kyler

Haha, that's funny. Last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaurDale Doback
Do you want to go do karate in the garage?Brennan Huff
We no can dunks. But good fundamentals. That more fun to watch.Futurama
Is that J Crew?Mike Showalter
You are one pathetic loserLlloyd Christmas
I'm sweating like a pedophile at recessPicnic Face
i'm not even supposed to be here todayDante
Karate? the dane cook of martial artsArcher
It's so damn hot. Milk was a bad choiceRon Burgandy
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. Everyone knows thatHomer Simpsons
facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that even remotely trueHomer Simpson
60% of the time, it works every timeBrian Fantana
It smells like big foots dickNews Station Employee
It smells like pure gasolineRon Burgandy
Catch you on the flip sideDavid Della Rocco
See you in another life, BrotherDesmond
You are so moneySwingers
I love scotch, scotchy, scotch, scotchRon Burgandy
I'm going to hang out by the bar, put out the vibeLloyd Christmas
alcohol, the cause of and solution to all life's problemsHomer Simpsons
We all do dumb shit, when are fucked upMike Tyson
I hate the very sight liquor. So I have to hide it in my stomachAnonymous
I am so drunk I am not sure I could readTucker Max
I am so drunk, I don't think I know how pants workModern Drunkard
I'm not an alcoholic, I am a university studentAnonymous
Let's Get drinking this meal isnt going to throw its self upTucker Max
My liver is evil, it must be punishedAnonymous
You couldn't even tie my drinking shoesTucker Max
You are a kindergarten drinkerTucker Max
Take me to pleasure townVernoica Corningstone
Ill give the little cookie an hour before we're doing the no pants danceBrian Fantana
Welcome to my humble chamber or as I call it ‘the lovenasium’Zap Brannigan
it's so damn cold you could hang meatsuicide kings
Sup Bitches!Mac
She wants my dick, in and around her mouthSeth
Where the girls are half as smart, and therefore twice as likely to felate meSeth
He is the fucking anti-poonSeth
You will have to excuse my friend, He's a little slowLloyd Christmas
I'm going to hit it so hard, who ever pulls me out is going to be come king of englandTucker Max
Back to school, Back to school, to prove to dad that I'm not a foolBilly Madison
T-t-t-today JuniorBilly Madison
How about I'm not your bitchStella
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity fr everyone, but they have always wotked for me.Hunter S Thompson
Good News Everyone!Futurama
Heellloo Peter, Whats HappeningThe Office
Thats like being the smartest kid with down syndromeWaiting
No Talent Ass-ClownThe Office
You shut your mouth when you`re talking to meWedding Crashers
Where did you get your clothes, the toilet store?Anchorman - Brick
I'm going to punch you, right in the ovary...Anchorman
Why don't you go back to your home, on whore islandAnchorman
You've got a dirty whorish mouth, thats what you haveAnchorman
Your mom goes to collegeNapolean Dynamite
Mmm... Welcome to my humble chamber or as I call it, The LovenasiumZapp Branagin
Look up Idiot in the dictionary...No, the definition, which you fucking areKiss Kiss Bang Bang
I'd smash seven shades of shit outta himGreen Street Hooligans
Winter Is ComingGame Of Thrones
Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me hardJay
Pop Pop gets a treat?Arrested Developmment
Hasta La LaterCommunity
I want to tickle your belly button from the insideYouth In Revolt
I wanna say something...I want to be on youRon Burgandy
Yea, well, you know that's like your opinion manThe Dude
Pop Pop Get's a TreatArrested Development
...I want to be on youRon Burgandy
I love scotch...Ron Burgandy
I'm going to punch you in the ovaryRon Burgandy
Smells like a turd covered in burnt hairRon Burgandy
It stings the nostrilsRon Burgandy
Where did you get those clothes, the toilet store?Brick Tamland
What am I, a farmer?Jack Donaghy
Danger ZoneArcher
There is always money in the banana standGeorge Bluth
Illusions, tricks are something whores do for money;Gob Bluth
Oh, Hi mark.The Room
POWStep Brothers
Last one there is a penis pumpGI Joe
i need to return some videotapesP. Bateman
I like you A LOTLlloyd Christmas
Streets aheadPierce Hawthorne
Gunna have a bad timeSki Instructor
What'd you do?Tommy Boy
Sucking back on Grandpa's old cough medicineDumb and Dumber